gll0417,
The best advice I could give is to show your son what his future prospects for gainful employment might be if he makes the private school choice. Try to get an estimate of the total cost of college, and the range of income he could expect to receive if he graduates, should he work in a field consistent with his major. Show him what the same degree would cost in a cheaper public school. Also, teach him that most if not all colleges have general university requirements (GUR's) that he will take, which will be classes unrelated to the education he is pursuing. Since he has to take those classes regardless of the university of his choice, would he not be better off by paying for instruction at a lower cost?
I don't know the answer to these questions. Maybe he does understand something about the college he wants to attend and his future financial prospects that aren't readily apparent to you. But in my experience the student who has a real vision of their future at eighteen years of age is rare, and most students end up racking up debt at an appalling rate without understanding what they are doing.
Speaking of debt, maybe someone could show him in real numbers what his education will cost -- in straight up numbers, and with interest when adding student loans. I do think kids understand the concepts of earning money and losing money. The cost of interest is very foreign to most people, not to mention young adults. Show him what he can expect to earn, and this is how much he can expect to pay afterward. If he still does not listen, that's his choice. It would be a shame if he made a pricey choice that he ends up regretting, and you could tell him that, but if he does know better, then best wishes to him.
Another thing, did he visit the school he wants to attend? Does he have the ability to handle the course work? College is a rude awakening to a lot of high school students, as the level of instruction and workload are well beyond what most students have experienced. I recognize you indicated that he has a free ride to another school, but lots of colleges offer good financial packages for freshmen, and the financial aid tails off dramatically afterward. The end result is several thousand dollars of debt. If he is pursuing an elite private school, the financial package he would receive is critical. You might check US News' ratings on colleges to see if it is a Tier 1 school. If it is, the financial package will likely be better than if a Tier 2 school or lower.
Lastly, no amount of college is worth it if you ultimately do not possess a degree in hand. Let him know that graduating is what really matters. Whether he gets to use his creativity will likely depend on whether or not he graduates. And if graduation were so easy, why do so many students come up short?
Hope this helps. Good luck to you.
[This message has been edited by schoolshrink1 (edited May 09, 2006).]