I see your point--but I'm not sure aid folks in every college are the brightest of folks or that they would not take question out of context--so apply some street smarts --the person on other side may have a very liberal view that if parents have it let them cough it up even if thats not what formula says --and or you and mom may have gotten CP "wrong" in terms of FAFSA which keys off where child actually is. Aid folks may not be open for discussions--or Mom may not be a good person to be asking questions?
In general the equation under FAFSA is NOT the family ability to pay! The noncustodial parent is NOT in the equation, its the CP and any new spouse of same. So if Mom is the de facto CP under FAFSA instructions your ability is out of equation but any new spouse she has in IN plus hers.
Me, there are some aid predictor models on line that appear to do a darn good job of emulating the FAFSA computations (the logic of which is public-Congress sort of wrote it) at least one of the popular aid handbooks has an accurate version of the formula--and I have crunched the numbers thru on a pocket calculator and found them quite close to "official" version so as to compute the expected parental contribution. If my EX wants help as to college bills I'd ask her to send me a copy of the FAFSA forms she submitted ASAP and I'd crunch the numbers thru a good model , worst case I'd estimate her numbers and crunch them thru --perhaps she didn't complete the FAFSA correctly?
OK , lets say the model kicks out that the expected parental contribution is $9,500 for that year --then two things--1. I'd discuss that I assist to pay say 1/2 of same 2. That is there is an error as to EPC she would be wise to attempt to get it re-evaluated by the college Be careful Mom did not submit "wrong" data on FAFSA. Also when parent gets forms back there is generally a pretty complete number analysis as to FAFSA--review same, make sure it makes sense.